Taking The Next Step

"The mountains belong to those who love them."
-Eihei Dogen, thirteenth century Japanese monk

"Hang on St. Christopher and don't let me go."
-BulletBoys, 20th century American heavy metal band


Well...I'm off.

The meditation group made me a cake that said: 'Taking the Next Step.' My sister gave me a calendar of my nephews. A lover made me a journal. My dad gave me his old St. Christopher medal.

My oldest nephew gave me a picture he drew of a "made-up dinosaur" and my youngest nephew gave me a cold.

An ex, ever practical, gave me a bottle of water and box of granola bars for the bus ride.

We went dancing at the bar last night. When I say we, I mean a handful of the usual suspects, some strangers we met there, and a couple people I didn't expect who came to see me off.

I've had a lot of good times at the bar. At the end of the night, I found myself watching everyone milling around and felt a rush of affection for all these people--friends and complete strangers both.

Today I am packed and ready to go. My place is mostly empty. The stuff I'm taking fits into surprisingly few bags. Looking at them waiting by the door, I feel...smaller. Like I'm small enough to step out of my life, and it will flutter to the ground behind me like an empty suit of clothes.

Nice clothes. Clothes to fold and reverently put away.

I'm not stepping out of my life though. I can't. The next step is only possible because of the steps I've taken along the way to get to this point, and the people who carried me when I was unwilling or unable to walk.

I'm taking the next step with almost nothing, and at the same time, I feel I'm carrying you all with me.

Thank you for all you've been for me.

- DB