When I first learned about Zen, I didn’t know monk still existed as a vocational choice. I figured it had died
out with feudal Japan. I considered ‘monk’ as likely a career path as ‘knight’ or ‘court astrologer.’
Now I’m looking to be one. Isn’t that weird? To me, it sure seems that way.
Two nights ago an ex and I made supper together and watched Galaxy
Quest. In less than a month, I’ll be sitting
around chanting in a cabin in the mountains.
Does that seem strange to you? I can’t wrap my head
around it.
A few months ago, I knew the Story of Me. I had a sense of who I was and
how the different parts of my life fit together. Now, thanks to a single
decision, it feels like a central piece of my identity has been pulled away and
the pages of My Story are flying around me like a blizzard. The scenes are
unchanged, but I can‘t seem to assemble
them into a coherent narrative anymore. I don’t have a context for my own; I am not who I thought I am.
Isn’t that a hell of a thing?
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